My 3 1/2 year old is getting to the point where he could probably cut out his daily nap. At daycare they say he’s exhausted by lunch time and still needs one, which I can appreciate, but it often makes for a really long bedtime struggle. On the weekends though, I really look forward to nap time so I’m kind of torn. I’m just not ready to let go yet. It has nothing to do with it signifying how quickly he’s growing up either. I have the privilege of wiping his butt when he poops to remind me how little he still is. He’s totally capable of doing it on his own by the way, he just prefers mommy or daddy do it for him as part of this sick power trip he’s on. If we aren’t there when he poops he likes to leave little skid marks on his undies just to remind me who’s boss. I don’t really understand how boys get skid marks to begin with. I mean if we are going to be honest here, wearing a thong puts you at risk every time you poop. It’s a piece of fabric that goes right up your butt cheeks so it’s pretty much inevitable unless you wipe a dozen times, and that’s not always possible. Especially when you are hiding out in the end stall and a coworker walks in. You can’t go back for that 3rd pull on the toilet paper roll or it’s a dead giveaway. Amiright, Ladies?
So yeah, my reasons for keeping nap time – at least on the weekends anyway – are completely selfish. I genuinely look forward to that couple hours where I can nap too, or go shopping, or shower, or watch something other than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and PJ Masks.
Sunday was one of those unfortunate days in parenting where both nap and bedtime were met with epic battles. We were up late the night before at a friend’s wedding where homemade moonshine was being passed around, and if you know anything about me, you know I am never one to turn down shots so we desperately needed an easy day of parenting.
I’m all class, all the time.
Dress: Evereve (on sale for $49.99!) Shoes: Nine West from Evereve (block heels are the perfect shoe for an outdoor wedding) Sunglasses: Ray-Ban Folding Wayfarers Clutch: Ted Baker (old, but also love this floral envelope clutch or this cobalt crossbody with it) Collar Necklace: Boutique in DesMoines (similar here)
When we got home from picking up the boys I decided to throw in a quick load of laundry including Deklan’s little blankey which was long overdue for a cleaning. Terrible mistake. I told you I’m getting a bit sloppy in this tired out threenager stage. Deklan is OBSESSED with this blankey so it’s critical he has it all times, especially when going to sleep. About 5 minutes into the cycle Deklan starts looking for blankey. When I broke the news to him that it was in the wash, he lost his GD MIND! We tried everything we could think of to get him to still go down for a nap without it. I even went so far as to sneak into Carter’s room where he was sound asleep and took his blankey out from under his grip to give to Deklan. Don’t judge. There’s no judging here. Desperate times call for desperate measures. They have the exact same blanket only Carter’s is blue instead of green, so I thought it just might work and I was desperate for it to work. No dice. Deklan acted like I brought him a plastic tarp from the garage to snuggle up with. Too tired to see it out until the end, we eventually caved and let him snuggle on the couch with daddy and watch Lion Guard until blankey had been fully washed and dried. As you can tell by this photo, only one of them has forgiven me at this point.
Fast forward an hour and they were both snoring loudly on the couch with a clean blankey snuggled between them. It’s now close to 3:00, which is usually when he’s getting up from his nap so I can already see him running down the hall screaming, “I’M NOT TIRED! YOU’RE BAD!” come bedtime. Should be fun.
Sure enough, bedtime rolls around and we give Deklan his typical 5 minute than 1 minute countdown before we pull the plug on the TV. When we got to the 1 minute we said, “1 more minute and then we are going to shut it off with no fighting, right?” He echoed are sentiment and then when the minute was up and the TV shut off, he went into full on toddler tantrum mode. I saw this crazy train coming hours ago so I braced myself for battle and started singing: “kumbaya, my Deklan, kumbaya…oh, Deklan, kumbaya.” He didn’t quite find it funny and started screaming and kicking even louder, so naturally I went right into the second verse: “kumbaya, my blankey, kumbaya…oh, clean blankey, kumbaya.” That one didn’t go over well either.
He’s got a little bit of a cold right now which makes it extra hard to hear him when he screams. Not only is it nasally, but it makes this gurgling sound when he throws his head back. I kept telling him to swallow and then try again to tell me what he needs, but that only made matters worse so I just started laughing. “Stop laughing, Mama! Stop it!” he cried. I tried. Honest to God I did, but as some of you have bared witness, once I get started laughing it’s impossible to stop. Eventually I convince him to climb up into my lap in an attempt to calm him down, but just the sight of him sprawled out in my arms screaming like a wounded animal was enough to send me over the edge. I’m now laughing so hard my entire body is shaking. I catch him looking up at me wide eyed and confused as his body shakes alongside mine. When he realizes we are both convulsing because I’m laughing so hard he goes off the deep end and takes off running towards daddy who is now suggesting mommy leave the room until she can get herself together. I try to reassure them both I’m only laughing because it’s better than crying and suggest we sing the song my mom always sings to the grandkids. She claims it’s the tune to a Bicycle Built for Two but she doesn’t know the words so she just sings, “dedede, dedede, dede de de de de de…” over and over again. After about 3 times through of this Deklan yells, “THE DE DE DE IS ONLY MAKING ME SADDER!” Hearing him refer to it as the “de de de” song because no one in my family has taken the time to look up the lyrics since my niece was born 8 years ago, suddenly strikes me as hilarious and I sprint out of the room racing towards the bathroom in a mad dash to get to the toilet before I pee all over his bed (like that’s what we would have needed to end the night) leaving Chris to pick up the pieces – for the second time that day. And that scene right there is why my husband is by far the favorite. Sorry, Boys, you got a hot mess for a mom. Might as well sit back and enjoy the ride!
